Have you Ever had a Migraine?

While I would prefer to keep my migraines out of this blog, I have found that it may be near to impossible.  You see, I suffer chronic daily headaches as well as frequent migraines.

Oh they’re clever too. They can strike quickly, or very sloooow! Sometimes my fingers begin to tingle.   Every once in a while I become  mean, unbearably mean, like the bully who would pick out any physical trait that made for good fodder. There are times that I become rock bottom depressed wondering how my world began to suck so hard.  

Then there is the the slow loss of my vocabulary.  It used to be after a severe migraine, I would lose words very easily.  I pictured my brain with grill marks charred into it.  Now though, everyday I struggle to find words and often wind my way around to what I’m attempting to in say in five words rather than two.

 As a poet this is turning out to be the hardest part.  

Sure migraines are good material for poems.  The intense pounding of my head, seeing weird lights,  feeling like a pencil is being pushed into my temple or sometimes my inner eye.  Or the time (TMI ahead) I threw up red Gatorade and (not wearing my glasses) thought I had internal bleeding!
But this loss of words has really thrown me.  I was used to losing words for a day or two during recovery from a brutal migraine.  Now, I forget words daily, or for a week at a time.  I have to describe to Mike what I am trying to say, in order to find the word.  It’s a little unsettling.  

 

It also leads to a lot more revising in my poems.

 

Dried Blood, the Smell of You!

Am I just a ridiculous softy? Why do moments in a film hit me so hard the third time I see it? I watched the tail end of Brokeback Mountain on Bravo (of all stations) today, and this moment had me sobbing.  Black tears running down my cheeks.  Is it sad because of Heath Ledger being dead? Is it said because Jack Twist and Enis Del Mar cannot ever have the life that would have made them the happiest? Is it because I have a weird headache, pages of poetry due and I’m waiting on a book that may never arrive? My dog runs out of the room whenever I cry.  I haven’t figured out why he becomes so upset. 

But my eyeliner is indeed waterproof.

 

Ipod you disappoint me Part 2!

Sunday, my Ipod still wasn’t working! I’d attempted charging it all weekend. Nothing, the screen remained dark!  I trekked it down to the the Ipod store, where the new Iphone was on sale.  There was a line outside the store.  
I took it to the Genius Bar. The name Genius Bar annoys me.  I know these kids have more knowledge of Macs then I do, but do they know anything about 20th century Boston poets? I would have to guess No! Anyway, Mr. Genius plugged my Ipod in and, guess what?? It says on the screen “low battery!” He tried it on two computers and it began charging! grrrr. I hate feeling like the customer (makes it worse since I’m a girl) who has no idea what they’re doing with technology.  

I asked him “So do you think my Ipod just needed a vacation?”

Without smiling or reaction he said “No.”

So, I said I would charge my Ipod at home and slunk out of the store. Embarrassed.

 

But I did get some new lipgloss at Origins so it wasn’t a total bust!

 

Ipod Nano you disappoint me!

After less than a year, my ipod nano has died. I took it out to lunch with me, it was working fine.  When I left work and pulled it from my bag, turned it on…nothing. No light, no sound, no nothing.  Instead I walked in silence.  No earphones to protect me from the unwanted crazies who love to talk to me or the tourists who somehow always choose me to ask directions.  (Which I wouldn’t mind if I knew where anything was located.  Well I know directions, but telling someone to “take a right at the sign that leans to the left and then head straight toward the building with a photo of a woman on a boat” don’t really cut it here). Seriously, I haaaate being without music.  I like not listening to others conversations. Today I listened to a man lament his lupus woes (I mean I know I would be full of woe if I had lupus, but I don’t know that I’d share it withe the dude who helped me onto the train).

Wow, I am a grumpy grumpy person.

Really people should be happy I walk around listening to music, then they don’t have to hear my grumps, and diatribes on how annoying I find just about everything.

Even the music I listen to annoys me sometimes.

I need to cheer up here.

 

Mike Lowell you have disappointed me!

Last night we went to the Red Sox game. I am pretty new to baseball. (Meaning I am only beginning to understand the rules). As you may or may not know, my love of the Red Sox began because of Mike Lowell (that and being a citizen of Massachusetts you are required by law to be a fan, they issue your shirt and hat at the border). Mike Lowell looks like my Mike. This was my original love of the man. But I have come to find as I watch baseball more and more, Lowell is a sturdy player, sure he lacks the big personality of Manny or Big Papi, but he’s solid. During the game I went to (seats on the Green Monster, a giant green wall) Lowell hit a grandslam!

Last night however, he sucked bigtime. He hit 0 for 4. He had a fielding error (not sure what that is yet, Mike is editing this) the first inning.Mike suggested maybe he was angry about not being chosen for the All Star Game.

Really the game kind of sucked until Manny came up to bat and hit a homerun. After that point, the Sox went to trailing 2 to 5 to winning 6 to 5. They kept (I found out from Mike) the pitcher in for a few (read maybe 20) pitches too many before the brought in a relief pitcher, whose name I don’t know. And he only pitched one inning before the star pitcher Jonathan Papelbon came in as the closer. Every time he focused to pitch the flashes of cameras lit up Fenway.

I love Fenway, I love Red Sox fans. They support this team winning or losing. Seats are sold out no matter how the team does. Other stadiums remain largely undersold, tickets are cheap and easy to come by (my best buddy got tickets to one of the Rockies NLDS from the bank–at Fenway you give your house, car, first second and third born with collateral of any future children (as well as your eyeteeth) to get one of those tickets.

Anyway, I can see why Mike Lowell wanted to come back and play for Boston last year when he became a free agent. The fans are the best!

So Mike Lowell, I’m counting on you. And I really want to know, boxers or briefs? Mike refused to help me figure it out. I’m thinking briefs and if this is the case, Mr. Lowell, we need to have a discussion, I know you can wear boxers with a cup!